


through the storm we reach the shore

by Luthien11



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: 17 year old kylux, Angst, Canon Compliant, Dancing Lessons, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Pre-Canon, Slow Build, Slow Burn, Summer Camp, Tauntauns, Teen Romance, Teenagers, Virgin Kylo Ren, hux phasma and mitaka are pals, i've surrendered to armitage, this is basically my headcanon
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-07-14
Updated: 2016-07-21
Packaged: 2018-07-24 00:25:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 19,332
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7486053
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Luthien11/pseuds/Luthien11
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Before completing his final semester at the Academy, Hux is ushered away to a two week summer camp, on a whim of his mother's, so he can 'make friends'. The very idea repulses him, that is until Ben Solo arrives, who seems even more anti-social than he is.<br/>The pre-canon summer camp romance that no one asked for.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Hux was bored.

He was always bored in this house-a mansion really-that seemed to constrict and suffocate him even as his mother continued to execute her plans to expand it. His house (he refused to call it a home) felt like nothing more than a cocoon in summer as the heat made his usually pleasant room uncomfortable.

He pulled himself up from where he’d begun to slouch on his four poster bed and wandered to glance out of his window which covered the entirety of the south facing wall. His room was on the top floor, providing him with an attractive view of their entire estate, including the dark forest that encircled it.

 He could always venture outside into the unnecessarily lavish grounds but the thought of the summer sun turning his pale skin red and peeling repulsed him. Besides, he was hardly going to shelter under one of the old oaks for shade, like he often observed the gardeners doing- his clothes would crease.

Two weeks. Two weeks of so-called freedom in this sweltering heat before he would return to the Academy to complete his final semester and advance to his choice of finishing school for aspiring officers.

Perhaps _bored_ was the wrong word, he mused. He’d been bored by age 9, the restlessness causing his skin to itch and his mother to demand he took up some sort of non-violent hobby. He needed balance, she had said. He remembered choosing a violin and studying it obsessively, almost to spite his mother when his unrelenting playing broke the silence of the household that she favoured.

Now aged 17, his mother had retreated to her PR meetings and spa holidays, leaving him with a useless talent for the violin and a newfound love of solitude. With Brendol Hux constantly away on business or working on some classified project (a situation Hux once found sad before fully appreciating the glory of his father’s position of power) he had to find his own entertainment. Despite his seemingly never ending displeasure towards everyone he met, Hux could only maintain sanity in this silent isolation for so long.

It wasn’t boredom, he realised, but impatience. He longed to put his childhood, and everyone that came with it, behind him.

Sighing, something that sounded petulant to his own ears, he pulled on his favoured calf length boots, and began the descent downstairs. He always felt a mild discomfort when out of his academy uniform for such long stretches of time-more vulnerable. Perhaps this was why he still favoured black garments now, despite the heat. His close fitting t-shirt and slim pants reduced his size, leaving him feeling younger than he ever did at the academy. It was strange that here he wasn’t judged or competing, just biding his time before the momentary lull passed by.

Perhaps he’d go for a hike, to maintain his strength. Despite his obvious slight frame, he could endure and could throw a mean punch. ‘Excels in combat, languages and engineering’ his yearly report had read- ‘a perfect candidate’ was the phrase on everyone’s lips. Whatever he did, he wanted to be better, the best. He let his mind wonder to these ambitious tendencies for a moment as he began his march towards the woods-their woods. The future promised glory and freedom-but most of all, a challenge apart from his monotonous life here.

The label ‘genius’ was one that often presented itself into his own mind. He fed his own ego as his classmates attempted to grind him down for his skills. He chuckled to himself, as he imagined the dim and lacklustre futures awaiting those who fell by the wayside at the Academy; the failures.

“Armitage,” a shrill voice pierced his bubble of thought. He closed his eyes briefly before turning to face his mother. “Armitage, dear, I’d like you to come inside, I have a matter I’d like to discuss.”

He watched as his mother smoothly walked into the house, her long, off-white gown floating behind her.

 _Armitage._ The name, all three mocking syllables of it, hissed in his ears as he reluctantly followed his mother inside. It was his father’s choice, not his mother’s, who never liked to discuss the life she shared with his father before his birth-so much so that he often wondered growing up if he’d been born at all, or simply sprung to life as a fully formed child.

 He felt perhaps his father foresaw his paper thin form growing up to be some sort of useless disappointment, so such a ridiculous name fitted his laughable expectations. At the Academy he was known only by Hux. He’d never drawn close enough to anyone to need to share any other name. He told himself this was a good thing.

He followed his mother into one of the many sitting rooms in the house. This one, with its plush sofas and wall mounted holoscreen, was perhaps the most used.  His mother sat down on a moss green sofa, gesturing for Hux to take the strong armchair opposite.

Hux forced himself to meet her eyes. She gave him a small smile. “Armitage, I’m worried,” she said, eyes fixed on his, “about you, I mean.”

He suppressed an eye roll at her irritating concern. The first thing they were taught at the academy: emotion was a weakness. He stayed silent, one leg crossed over the other.

“You shouldn’t be alone all summer dear, what with both me and your father away for so much of it. I worry that you’re lonely.”

“I assure you mother, I’m perfectly content. Now if that’s all I’ll just--”

“Sit down Armitage.”

He sighed, forcing himself to sit back down, his irritation amplified by his mother’s almost cruel insistence of using his full first name.

“I’m not arguing about this dear. I know you don’t see it as an issue but these few weeks are your last chance to make friends before moving on and away from here and I don’t think you should spend it alone.”

She looked genuinely concerned. He was almost surprised at this, before settling on the idea that she must just be trying to bury some of her own guilt over leaving him for the next weeks for some retreat on an obscure planet.

“Well if you think I’m suddenly going to start playing childish games with the gardener for my own entertainment, then you don’t know me at all.”

“Dear me, no! Of course not, don’t be so silly.” He scowled, and then tried not to, for fear he seemed childish.

“I just want you to try and find company of your own age- and standard.” Hux resisted another eye roll. As if it was that easy to find such decent company.

“Which is why I’ve signed you up for a two week-very exclusive-summer camp,” she said excitedly, handing him a crumpled leaflet,  “it’s a few systems out from here, with others just like yourself, from proper backgrounds.”

Hux looked up sharply. Now that was unexpected. “You’ve done _what?_ ” He hoped a little of his horror was conveyed in his face right now. “Besides, aren’t I a little old for summer camp?”

“Oh, no dear, Camp Aquilae is specifically designed for an older age group, intended to not present a political agenda, so it’ll give you a bit of a break. It’s perfect!”

“It’s a charming little camp, on a lovely planet, lots of trees and not too hot for you. There are all sorts of activities, programmes for developing combat and ...” Hux zoned out as her suddenly chirpy voice wittered on. His eyes drifted from the peculiar monochrome leaflet out of the window opposite him, which provided a view into the woodland, where he’d been headed moments before. _Summer camp._ It was almost laughable- spending his last weeks before a final gruelling semester at the Academy surrounded by idiotic children of politicians and diplomats, probably with little to no privacy or peace. His mother had signed him up for hell, even if the leaflet tried to make it look classy.

 “I can’t go.” He muttered, too quietly for his mother to break her excited stream of consciousness. “Mother.” He was almost shouting, aware that he sounded like an infant.

“Armitage dear, please calm down, it’s already booked.” She smiled at him. He suppressed a shudder. “Besides, what’s the alternative-moping indoors bored stiff for two weeks?”

Hux couldn’t argue with that. He _was_ bored. But he’d been bored in some way for as long as he could remember, everything coming to him too easily, with little challenge or commitment. Two more weeks wouldn’t make any difference.

“But I--”

“No buts dear. Besides it’s too late for all that. There’s a craft coming to pick you up this afternoon-so get packing.”

She stood up, ready to leave, done with Hux already.

“You couldn’t have mentioned this sooner?” He asked, standing up with her.

“Oh, you’d only try to get out of it,” she said with a dismissive flip of the hand, “Besides, it’s only two weeks.”

Hux just watched, his mouth slightly agape as his mother collected her matching clutch from a table in the hallway and proceeded outside towards a craft he’d not even been aware of earlier. She stepped inside before turning back to wave. Hux didn’t wave back. The door closed behind her, and Hux was once again alone.

He couldn’t believe this. Just minutes ago he was lost in the days and days of free time stretching ahead of him. It felt like a burden. Now he felt as if the gift of time had been robbed from him. No one could make him go, he realised. There was no one around and if- _when-_ the craft arrived, he could just stay inside until it left. The rebellious scheme twisted inside of him, before thoughts of his father’s resulting wrath abruptly stomped them down.  His father hated idleness, so returning home to find his son had hidden from a rigorous two week trip to simply lounge about the house probably wouldn’t sit well with him.

Hux wandered back into the sitting room, collapsing once again into the old armchair. Their silver plated servant droid followed him into the room.

“I’ve been tasked with ensuring your safe departure this afternoon, sir.” It spouted as it approached him. Of course. His mother had set the droid to spy on him, most likely sending a signal to her craft informing her of Hux’s whereabouts. There was no escaping this. He let out another sigh, before hauling himself upstairs to pack. He wasn’t going to enjoy this.

*

It was only when the craft carrying Hux and his single bag of luggage landed on the blue-green planet, that he realised the other campers had already arrived. His mother seemed to not have realised that sending Hux to summer camp in his own private craft wasn’t going to be an efficient way to help him make friends.

Reluctantly he exited the craft, shouldering his bag as he looked around the grassy field where they’d landed. Across the field Hux noticed a string of pleasant looking cabins obscured partially by a line of trees, beyond which a mist covered mountain range stretched seemingly endlessly towards the sky. The opposite side of the field behind him grew into thick woodland that cast long shadows due to the sinking sun.

His mother had been right about one thing: it was cooler here, a slight breeze disturbing the comfortably warm temperature. Hux approached the group of around thirty campers, who had all turned to gawp at his apparently extraordinary entrance. Most appeared to be humanoid and around his age, although he identified what appeared to be a young Twi’lek girl near the front of the group.

A tired looking man was droning out some standard introduction which Hux didn’t care to listen to. He wondered why anyone would voluntarily spend time working at place such as this with little hope of career progress or rewarding accomplishments.

As Hux scanned the group, a bulky guy with slicked back blonde hair glared at him. He looked away, not quite in the mood for making enemies just yet. The group began to move towards the cabins, which Hux took to mean the introduction was over.  Hux straggled behind the masses, not yet ready to mingle with a group of people who probably already hate him for his wealth.

His boots sunk a little in the muddy ground, which gave the impression that rain was a more common occurrence here than on his home planet. Despite this he hoped he’d get an opportunity to clean his boots.

It was then that he’d wished he’d been paying closer attention to the actions of the others around him, as he observed a set of heavy boots approaching him. His eyes snapped up to meet the glaring guy from before. Hux wasn’t easily intimidated, but seeing as this possible opponent was at least a foot taller than him, he hoped to avoid conflict.

Hux was forced to stop as blonde-guy stepped into his path. The continued snarling grin that stretched across his face told him that he wasn’t about to be forming a new friendship.

“Hey, rich kid, you think you’re too good to share a craft with the rest of us huh?” Hux looked up to meet his laughing eyes. He sighed, exasperated already by the petulant attempt at an insult. He glanced behind him to observe the chuckling duo that shared the appearance of blonde-guy, without his well built stature. They both laughed at the insult, their arms folded in an attempt to look intimidating.

Hux just stared back at blonde-guy, not willing to sink to his level through retaliation. Naturally this was seen as something that deserved punishment, as Hux then found himself being shoved backwards so abruptly that he collapsed into the dirt.

He watched, a little shocked, as the trio turned to rejoin the group, still laughing to themselves. “Red-headed brat,” he heard one of them mutter.

It was then that Hux snapped out of the daze he’d sunken into and caught up with the three in a few long strides. Feeling heat beginning to rise to his cheeks he grabbed blonde-guy by the shoulder, pulling him around. “Looking to make enemies already are we?” Hux asked. He watched the look of surprise slowly compute across his features and before he could form a response, planted a powerful punch across the boy’s face. Now it was his turn to collapse in the dirt in surprise.

Hux flex his knuckles as the tired man approached, followed by the group of others to seek out the source of the commotion. Instead of the disciplined anger Hux expected, the man (who Hux assumed was some sort of camp instructor) just gave a weary frown.

 “Try not to kill each other on the first day, please.” Hux wasn’t sure if he was joking but was pleased to observe the beginning of a black eye forming across blonde-guy’s face as he moved quickly away from Hux, his entourage no longer laughing.

As Hux resumed his walk behind the main group, he felt a different presence fall into stride next to him. He glanced up to meet the eyes of a towering humanoid girl with cropped blonde hair, and a strangely impressed smile. “I’m glad you did that,” she said, looking down at him, “I’m Phasma by the way, and that’s Resdox-everyone calls him Res.”

“Hux.” He didn’t smile back.

“He was here last year, thinks he has the right to be cruel, just because he looks tough-so thanks for taking him down a peg.”

Hux looked up at her again, surprised by her willingness to talk. “You’ve been here before-is it ok?”

“It’s alright I guess, just stick with me and you’ll be fine.” Hux suppressed an eye roll. As if he needed some sort of guide. She continued to smile as she spoke, “besides, it’s good to have someone like you around who can look after themselves.”

Hux didn’t know what to say to that so they spent the rest of the walk in what he hoped was companionable silence as they approached the cabins. Maybe this wouldn’t be so bad.

As they arrived outside of the cabins, the instructor began to pair everyone off to share rooms from the holoscreen he carried. Hux’s name was called with someone named Mitaka (Hux was relieved to find they went by surnames here), who looked somewhat terrified of Hux, which made him feel a little more pleased than it should have.

Nodding goodbye to Phasma, he made his way into their allocated cabin, trailed by Mitaka. The cabins seemed cosy, with wooden furnishings and what appeared to be hand woven rugs covering the floor. They each had a bed on opposite sides of the room as well as cabinets for their belongings. Hux noted a further door leading from this room which he assumed was a bathroom. He made a mental note to clean his boots there later.

It was getting dark as they unpacked, eating the pre prepared meals that had been left for them in their rooms. The instructor, who said that his name was Kaplin (call me Kap), mentioned that they will normally eat in the dining area further into the site, and they would be given a full tour and briefing in the morning.

Hux glanced at Mitaka, who promptly climbed into his bed; turning to face the wall, making Hux wonder how many of the others didn’t quite choose to be here. Not yet feeling tired, Hux wondered across the dark room, drawing back a curtain slightly so he could look out of the window, which he was happy to discover featured a sizeable window seat. He settled onto the seat, drawing the curtain closed again behind him, so that he was secluded between the room and the window.

He was almost pleased to note that the window looked out across the field and the forest, where he could watch the last rays of daylight burn away. As his eyes began to droop, he heard the muffled but unmistakeable sound of a craft landing in the field. He looked towards the sound, eyes straining in the darkness, as he observed a shadowy figure leaving the craft, guided towards the cabins by a man who Hux assumed was Kap. As they moved closer, it seemed that Kap was walking as far from the figure as possible, whilst still being able to guide him, as if fearful of getting too close. His interest peaked, Hux continued to watch until he could distinguish clear outlines of the figures.

It was then that Hux realised the shadowy figure was not shadowy at all, but simply dressed in a thick black cloak that blurred his outline. Wanting to see more of the figure who’d arrived in just as conspicuous a manor as him, but reluctant to be observed, Hux began to slip back into the room. As he did so Hux’s heart jolted a little as he noted a flash of a pale face turning towards him as he moved swiftly away from the window.

*

Hux woke up the next morning to the sound of birds he didn’t recognise, and in a bed that felt strange. After a few moments of remembering where he was, he rolled out of bed to find Mitaka already dressed and seemingly startled by Hux’s sudden movement. He had to do something about this.

“Look, Mitaka, I’m not going to hurt you, ok?” He took a step towards the other boy who looked at him properly for the first time. “I’m generally not a violent person.”

Mitaka gave a small smile then, which Hux took as a victory, before moving into the shower. On their way to the dining hall, Mitaka followed a step behind Hux, less out of fear now and more out of respect.

Being in a regulation dining hall with a bunch of other stern faced 17 year olds felt so much like the Academy that he was almost comfortable as he took a seat next to Phasma, followed closely behind by a silent Mitaka. The room had a high ceiling, but was reasonably small, with just enough tables to force people to share in twos and threes. After a few minutes of surprisingly normal conversation, Hux realised that he may have inadvertently formed a trio of friends through his outburst of violence upon arrival.

A cursory glance around the room told him that the shadowy figure from last night was certainly not here. He vaguely wondered if he’d been dreaming.

They’d nearly finished their pleasant if not unusual food when Kap started coughing in such a way that aimed to catch everyone’s attention. Hux began to wonder if he was the only camp counsellor here.

“If everyone could just look this way please.” They all turned, almost in unison, perhaps a little startled by the renewed confidence this man expressed in the light of morning. “Before we take a tour of the grounds, I’d like to remind you all of why we’re here,” he paused dramatically, “to grow as people.” Hux rolled his eyes at Phasma, who chuckled.

“This is a camp designed to teach you what all your fancy academies often forget: the importance of social interaction and adaptation. When you leave here, you will not only be the intelligent, dynamic individual that you already are, but also someone with the ability to blend in, to interact and to gain trust wherever you go. Most importantly, it is imperative that you try to make friends here, to make the most of the two weeks. Thank you.”

Kap stepped away from the small platform where he’d been standing, as a hush fell across the room. Even Hux felt a little less cocky after that. He’d never really thought of his cold-blooded success at the Academy as lacking in any way. He certainly didn’t have anyone he’d call a friend, that’s for sure. With everyone always competing at the Academy, there was no room for that kind of trust.

Eventually conversation across the room resumed. Apparently, in the introduction yesterday, Kap announced that they’d all be taking a tauntaun ride around the site. Hux always thought that tauntauns were a snow planet species, but after catching sight of the heard they’d be riding, he realised that these ones seemed to be more adapted to warmer climates, with hair akin to that of some kind of horse, instead of being excessively furry. Maybe there were different types, he wondered aimlessly.

Everyone was just beginning to gather around outside, in the field where they’d arrived yesterday where the animals had now somehow been released to. They all started to attempt mounting their own tauntaun, when Kap suddenly approached the group once again- but this time he was not alone. Standing next to him, looking like he might be about to launch into a full on tantrum, was the shadowy boy Hux had seen last night, black robe, hair and all.

Hux tried not to look surprised as Kap introduced the boy as Ben Solo, before gesturing for him to take a tauntaun.  Hux momentarily caught the boy’s eye as he approached the group, and thought he may have seen a flash of recognition across his scowling eyes.

“You ok?” Phasma asked, already seated majestically on the tauntaun next to him, “you look a little freaked.”

“It’s nothing.” Hux muttered as he pulled himself onto his own ride, a little less gracefully than Phasma, but with a lot more ease than Mitaka on his other side.

The group followed as best they could behind Kap, most clearly having never ridden before, including Hux. He once again felt thankful for Phasma, who gave him enough guidance to ride his tauntaun without too much difficulty. The tour took them away from the cabins, main hall and the dining hall, revealing a wide lake previously concealed by the forest.

“Hopefully we’ll be using this lake at some point in the coming weeks!” Kap yelled from the front of the group, his comical attempt at turning around on his ride unleashing several smothered giggles.

It was then that Hux’s ride decided that this would be a great time to stop dead and munch on something in the long grass. Hux pulled at the reins in what he hoped was a calm attempt to get moving again. “Phasma!” he called, as his friend turned to laugh at his struggle.

“Just give him a little kick,” she yelled, before turning back. Fortunately it worked, but not before he’d managed to fall behind the main party. As he began his attempt at catching up, he noticed a dark clad figure straggling at the back of the group. _Ben Solo._

As Hux continued forward, he watched in amazement as Solo’s tauntaun seemed to be very deliberately steering towards the forest at a great pace, away from the group.

Now Hux wasn’t usually someone to make rash, misjudged decisions, but at this moment his brain provided the helpful feedback of _screw the tour_ as he did his best at steering after the stray tauntaun. The main group was so far ahead now that no one noticed the two riders making their way into the forest.

Hux’s tauntaun seemed to understand that all it was doing was following, which it managed to do quite well enough, until Solo stopped so suddenly, with Hux’s ride doing the same, that he let out an involuntary yelp, quickly smothered by his palm.

“Why are you following me?” An irritated voice asked. Hux looked back, not realising that they were now too far into the forest to be seen from the main path. “I knew you were there from the moment you turned to follow me.” He sounded almost boastful, which surprised Hux for some reason.

“I—I don’t really know.” Hux replied, surprised by his own honesty, “I guess I just saw you turn this way and figured I’d see what you were doing,” a pause, “I’m Hux, by the way. Solo, right?” Hux didn’t expect this to go down very well, but it seemed like it’d be better than a tour, whatever happened now.

Hux was surprised when the boy suddenly pulled his ride around, seemingly to just glare at him with undeserved hatred. “Don’t call me that. I hate that name.”

“But—that is your name, right? Kap said-”

“I know what he said but that’s not my name,” the boy almost growled in response, through what Hux presumed were gritted teeth.

“Well what _should_ I call you?” Hux was beginning to get irritated now. Who did this guy think he was?

“I prefer...Kylo Ren.” He seemed shy as he said this, as if revealing something important about himself. His earnestness almost made Hux swallow a laugh. Almost. The boy-Kylo Ren-seemed maddened by Hux now, pulling his ride around and beginning to carry on into the woods.

Perhaps realising a slight error in his response, Hux spoke up. “Wait, Ren? I’m sorry.”

The boy turned back in surprise, looking almost as shocked by the sudden apology as Hux was. “Just tell me where you’re going- I don’t care to go back to the tour.”

“Fine.” Ren said, before continuing through the forest. Hux took this to mean it was ok to follow, so he did. There was just something about the boy with his strange black robe and sad eyes that seemed a hell of a lot more exciting than a group tour. He hoped no one would notice they were gone.

After an immeasurable stretch of time, they emerged at a grassy clearing, with Ren being quick to dismount, leading his tauntaun by the reins until he reached the centre of the opening. From here, the dark shadows of the forest vanished, revealing startling sunlight that had given life to a selection of unusual flowers that Hux didn’t recognise from his home planet. He wasn’t sure what he was expecting (perhaps some cave for Ren to mope in) but it wasn’t this.

After moments of fumbling, Hux managed to dismount from his own ride, before approaching Ren, who was stood weirdly still in the middle of the clearing.

“So,” said Hux, feeling a little awkward as the silence stretched on, “what--”

“Your tauntaun is escaping.” Ren said matter-of-factly.

Hux span around, and sure enough, the animal had begun to make its way back into the forest. Suddenly furious at his own stupidity at not holding on to it, Hux began to move towards the animal, when he noticed that it’s reins were being tugged towards him of their own accord. The movement had caused the tauntaun to turn back to Hux and had almost reached him, when Hux turned back to Ren, who had his arm outstretched towards the reins.

Hux looked back to his animal as he took hold of the outstretched rein and then back to Ren who was looking a little sheepish under Hux’s gaze.

“Did you..?” Hux wasn’t really sure how to word what he’d seen.

“I used the force.” Ren muttered, looking at Hux, as if he expected him to laugh. “Before you say anything-yes the force is real and no I’m not a magician.”

“I wasn’t going to...”

“It’s why I’m here,” Ren interrupted, which irritated Hux, “My mother fears my power. I don’t exactly fit into her political agenda.”

“Political agenda...” _Solo._ Hux’s mind raced as he suddenly recalled why the name had initially sounded familiar: overheard whispers from his father’s inner circle, a growing threat discussed behind closed doors, now sat with him at summer camp, of all places. “Are you Leia Organa’s son?”

“Unfortunately.” Ren sat down heavily on the grass, his tauntaun sitting like an obedient dog next to him. Hux wasn’t keen to begin sitting in a probably muddy field, but he did want to hear more, so took his chances and sat down on the other side of Ren.

“She never says it, but I know she can’t control me anymore. That’s why she sent me here- _make some friends_ ,” he said, in a mocking voice, “As if that’s going to make my gifts go away. This camp was far enough away that no one would recognise me-accept for you I suppose.” He paused then, glancing at Hux. “Sorry,” he muttered, looking back down, “you don’t care about this.”

Hux was a little shocked. This boy sat next to him was a _Skywalker._ He tried to act natural, scrambling to think of a response. “It’s fine. My mother sent me here too, a last effort to make friends, before I finish military school.” Ren looked up again at that.

“You’re joining the military?” He looked genuinely curious.

“Yes. I hope to be a general one day.” He picked at the grass in front of him; suddenly realising he may have come across as arrogant. Luckily Ren didn’t seem to notice.

“My mother wants me to train as a jedi.” Ren said despairingly, as if it was the worst thing in the world. “They don’t really go in for the whole ‘military’ aspect, not the ones I’ve met anyway.” He looked up again, his eyes locking onto Hux’s face for the first time. “I’ve never met someone with ginger hair before.”

Hux wasn’t really sure how to respond to that as he ran his fingers through his hair self-consciously. Ren’s eyes followed the movement. Hux coughed. When he looked up, Ren was still staring at him, so Hux stared back, noting that Ren’s strange, almost wonky features suited him. Hux wondered if he should break the silence-or the stare.

“You won’t tell anyone, will you? About what I can do?” Ren asked suddenly, a flash of fear in his dark eyes, “people act differently sometimes, when they know.”

“No, no of course not,” he said, looking down awkwardly before once again meeting Ren’s eyes so he could see the sincerity there, “I promise.” Hux wasn’t sure why, but he felt comfortable here. He knew at the Academy that if someone spoke nicely to him, they were just trying to earn his trust in order to throw it back in his face later. But this strange boy who was sort of a famous force wielder had somehow ended up seeming normal to him.

“I found this place this morning; I didn’t really feel like having everyone staring at me at breakfast. I dislike being around large groups.”

Hux nodded in agreement. “I know what you mean. I’ve made friends-I think-with a girl called Phasma if you want to, I don’t know, eat with us or something.” He suddenly felt stupid, offering a hand of friendship to this boy who he’d just met by following him into the woods.

“I guess I could,” Ren said, sounded incredibly unenthusiastic about the idea. The silence stretched on once more.

“We should probably get back to the others,” Hux said, standing up and brushing down his clothes. He was mostly reluctant to experience another intense stare off.

“Agreed. You can follow me back.” Hux was about to argue with the fact that this boy was almost commanding him, before realising he had little knowledge of how to find his own way back.

Upon reaching the main campus, Hux observed that everyone was already back in the dining hall for lunch, and suggested they should perhaps return their tauntauns to their paddock themselves.

Ren nodded in agreement and the two began to turn around, when Ren seemed to sit a little more upright. “Kap is here,” he whispered. Sure enough, Hux looked around to see a mildly stern Kap approaching on foot.

“There you are,” he said, sounding more relieved than irritated, “Now if you’d bothered to listen to the rest of the tour, you would know that we often allow you to go off by yourself, seeing that you’re not exactly children, however, you could have waited until I’d at least told you that.”

Both Hux and Ren stayed seated on their tauntauns, both clearly unperturbed by this lacklustre attempt at discipline. “Go on, get some lunch, I’ll take the animals back.” Kap finished in a tired voice before grabbing hold of both sets of reins as the two dismounted. Hux wandered into the dining hall, not looking back at Ren. He felt a little awkward now they’d removed themselves from the strange bubble of the forest.

“Where have _you_ been?” Phasma asked with a smile as he approached the table. She’d been talking to Mitaka as he approached, who seemed a lot more relaxed now, which he was grateful for.

“I was just with-” He turned to gesture to Ren but found that the boy was no longer behind him. “I was alone.” He said suddenly, “I wanted to explore the forest.” He looked at Phasma, who continued to smile as if she didn’t believe him. He felt reluctant to admit he’d spent the morning sat in a clearing with a boy who had the ability to suddenly disappear. She said nothing as Hux sat down.

They spent their afternoon outside, in the field, doing a sort of ‘get to know you session’ which Hux thought would make him want to die, but ended up being surprisingly pleasant. Ren was nowhere to be seen, much to Hux’s disappointment, and after initial murmurings about the whereabouts of Solo, everyone else seemed to forget about him. Hux assumed that on account of being the son of such a prominent figure, the camp was more lenient with his wanderings.

Despite feeling slightly awkward talking in a forced circle about his life, Hux did at least learn about his newfound friends. He was surprised to learn that Mitaka attended an Academy similar to his own; perhaps his timid demeanour helped him to gain an element of surprise during combat. Phasma was also attending some sort of military based school, and it was clear to Hux that she was already expressing intense leadership qualities. It was almost laughable that the three who were attending military schools had become friends so quickly, almost as if they could detect their own kind.

Despite this, neither Phasma nor Mitaka appeared to belong to families of the same power or political standing as Hux’s which perhaps explained their lack of interest in the name Ben Solo.

It may have been Hux’s imagination but some of the other campers seemed a little more wary of their trio after the session, many of whom were attending more peaceful engineering or technology based academies. Many turned out to be offspring of political figures from across the galaxy, most of which Hux had never heard of, although he felt as if this would have pleased his mother.

That night Hux’s dreams were filled with unusual flowers and dark, wandering shadows.

*

The following day was declared as what Kap affectionately called a ‘lake day’, mostly because it was humid enough to make everybody sneak off to the lake anyway, so it may as well be an approved activity.

Hux rarely swam. His home planet was too dry for any natural lakes to form, and his pale complexion never fared well in water on burning hot days. Besides, his mother was never really one to suggest a family trip to the seaside. So when he approached the dark lake, turned grey by the overcast sky, he felt almost excited. “You swim?” Phasma asked, already making her way towards the water in an athletic bathing suit.

“Of course.” Swimming was a basic survival skill, taught at the academy to ensure students could be efficient in water as well as on land. The muggy day provided enough warmth for Hux to comfortably slip off his clothes, leaving his black swimming trunks on underneath. “You coming Mitaka?” he said, turning back to see his friend eyeing the water cautiously, “I’m sure there’s nothing in here that will kill you.” Mitaka looked up at him with an expression that said he didn’t find that very reassuring.

Hux laughed before turning back to face the large body of water. He followed Phasma into the lake, treading water as he watched her speed away with the technique of a professional swimmer. He observed the surroundings, before fixing his eyes on a far edge of the lake, where a small opening in the dark forest met the water. He gracefully swam towards it, pulling himself up onto the bank. From here he could observe the rest of the group splashing and diving near the shallows, and Phasma swimming lengths.

The warm air dried his skin as he ran his fingers through his damp hair. He felt almost content. Hux was just about to slip back into the water when he heard a rustling in the trees behind him. He was no coward, and was accustomed to the strange forest sounds from his home planet, yet he also hoped there wasn’t some sharp toothed forest beast about to ambush him. Just as he started to wonder if he should look for some branch to use as a weapon, a dark clad figure burst through the greenery.

Hux breathed a sigh of relief, although dealing with Ren and his peculiarities wasn’t much better than facing a forest beast. “You again,” Hux said, turning back to face the lake. He felt a little irritated at Ren’s ability to just appear whenever he felt like it, particularly after yesterday. It made him feel a little vulnerable, he observed, a thought which he immediately dismissed as preposterous. To his surprise Ren sat down next to him, still wearing his ridiculous robe. “Can’t swim then?” Hux asked turning to face Ren who was now looking over the lake.

“I simply don’t wish to spend time with these people.”

“Well you’re talking to me, am I not ‘people’?” It was then that Ren turned to face Hux, looking directly at him with a little too intense stare. _Eyelashes_ , Hux noted. He shook his head slightly to dismiss the thought.

“You’re quieter.” Ren muttered, seemingly shy as he looked back over the lake, “different.”

“How could you possibly make such a judgement? You’ve not even spoken to anyone else here.”

_I can read your mind_

Hux jumped to his feet suddenly, shaken by the sneering voice that seemed to place itself into his brain, like a thought of his own. Ren laughed at his confused expression, which didn’t particularly help Hux at this point.

“What-how did you do that?” Hux asked still stood in surprise.

“Sorry, I didn’t mean to startle you,” Ren said, although his stupid grin told a different story. Hux sat down again with a huff, now feeling profoundly uncomfortable and even more exposed than he would have felt, just by wearing next to nothing compared to Ren’s huge robe. Hux hugged his knees in an effort to regain some comfort.

“I’d prefer it if you didn’t practice your jedi mind tricks on me, thank you.” Hux was unable to keep the undertones of annoyance out of his voice by this point. Ren’s powers in turn made him feel powerless, a feeling he didn’t warm to at all.

“I’m not a jedi!” Ren almost yelled, sending a fiery glare towards Hux, who more than willingly glared back.

“Fine. You’re not a jedi. Just stay out of my head.”  Hux snapped, standing up and walking back towards the lake, suddenly wishing to escape Ren’s unwelcome company, knowing any thoughts were no longer safe.

“Don’t go,” Ren said, almost too quietly for Hux to hear as he turned back around to glare at Ren, “please.” Hux sighed, feeling as if he somehow couldn’t be cruel to the pleading face of Ren as he sat back down next to him. They both turned back to look over the lake, allowing the silence to grow between them. None of the others seemed to have observed that they were here, which Hux vaguely wondered may be a result of another of Ren’s mind tricks.

As the silence, to Hux at least, reached an almost unbearable point, Hux began to scramble for something to say. Yet before he could launch into a forced topic he’d probably regret mentioning, Ren stood up abruptly.

“That’s it then? You’re going.” Ren nodded in confirmation, acting as if his actions couldn’t be regarded as anything but normal. Perhaps they were to him, Hux thought.

“Ren, why don’t you actually try and spend time with the group here-they’re not that bad. I don’t know what kind of special arrangement you’ve managed to score, but I think the whole point of this is at least _trying_ to make friends.”

Ren just stared at him, and Hux rolled his eyes, his effort clearly wasted. Hux started to move towards the edge of the lake again when he heard Ren’s piercing voice, in his head that was.

_I’ll be there tomorrow_

Hux whipped around as the echo slipped in, then swiftly out of, his mind, but Ren was nowhere to be seen. Hux sighed, before swimming quickly back to shore, with no one seeming to notice that he’d been gone.

That evening he returned to his cabin to find a ginger cat curled up at the foot of his bed, seemingly asleep. He looked across at Mitaka who was already curled up in bed. “Hey, Mitaka,” he whispered, “why is there a cat on my bed?”

“Hmmm,” Mitaka mumbled into his pillow before rolling over to squint at the cat, “I don’t know, Hux, just ignore it,” he finished before rolling back over to face the wall.

Hux sighed. He really wasn’t in the mood for this. He climbed into bed, hoping the animal would be gone by morning.


	2. Chapter 2

The following day wasn’t something that Hux had been particularly looking forward to. According to their schedules, they would be attending some form of formal dance lessons in the main hall. Now Hux didn’t really see the point in this, but according to Kap, it was an ‘important life skill’ and Phasma was keen to make sure he didn’t sneak off anywhere this time, after finding his reluctance overly hilarious.

As he dragged himself out of bed that morning, he noticed the orange cat was still sat at the end of his bed. He mentioned it to Phasma over breakfast who laughed, gleefully mentioning that the cat would match his hair. He named her Millicent.

Phasma almost had to shove him into the main hall after breakfast, and Hux was surprised to note that most of the other students didn’t share his inhibitions. “Everyone loves to dance,” Phasma offered in explanation, as Hux just rolled his eyes, hoping it would be over quickly.

At least the main hall was a little aesthetically pleasing, he thought miserably after a cursory glance around the room. Apparently the hall was the only remainder of a large estate that once occupied the entire site, so the hall had a sort of historical feel to it. The high ceilings were decorated with overly grand chandeliers, with both ends of the hall curving into ornate archways. The polished oak floor added to the style, although Hux mostly just envisioned slipping over on it.

As he began to scour the room for some door or window that may provide a quick exit, his eyes landed on a black cloaked figure that could only be Kylo Ren. As Hux just stared in something akin to shock, Ren simply walked over to them. Hux heard Mitaka shuffle nervously behind him. Ren didn’t exactly have the most approachable face, he supposed.

He walked over and stood directly in front of Hux, who didn’t really know what to say, before Phasma next to him broke the silence.

“Hi, you’re Solo right?” she smiled at Ren, who, to Hux’s great surprise forced a smile back.

“That’s right, yes.” Ren glared at Hux for just a moment as if daring him to say anything about the name. Hux forced himself to act composed, as if the current circumstances were completely expected.

“So you hide away from the tour and swimming, but you turn up for _dance lessons_?” Hux said, hoping to sound indifferent to Ren who just shrugged before turning to face the dance teacher.

Maz Kanata- a small, humanoid woman with huge eyes, that stood firmly, hands on hips as she told the group to cal her Maz. Phasma had mentioned to Hux over breakfast that she was rumoured to be some sort of leader from Takodana, and had a reputation for aiding smugglers, but she came here each year to teach dance as a sort of two week retreat from it all. Hux had laughed at this, before realising that he would have to attend these dance lessons himself.

“Ok, class, I know some of you may not want to be here,” Hux definitely thought she looked at him as she said this, “but you don’t have much choice, so at least try to enjoy yourselves.” She looked around the group, before clapping her hands together. “Right, everyone find a partner who’s roughly your height!”

There was a sudden dash of movement as everyone began to arrange themselves into pairs. This all happened so swiftly that Hux wondered if everyone else had had the foresight to arrange partners beforehand. He watched as Phasma moved across the room to team up with the next tallest of the group, some leather clad female with menacing dark eyes that had introduced herself as Bazine Netal  at the group introductions on the first day. Hux thought Phasma was brave to approach her, she scared Hux a little.

Mitaka shuffled over to stand with the small Twi’lek, Aayla, who he already seemed to be on good terms with. Hux glanced around, realising that Ren and himself were the only ones not partnered up-he didn’t like where this was going. He glanced at Ren-they were almost the same height he supposed, Ren only slightly taller. Ren looked at him, obviously considering the same thing, yet neither one of them quite ready to voice the reality of their circumstances.

“Go on you two, don’t be shy,” Hux heard Maz behind them, as she gave Hux a little (yet surprisingly forceful) shove towards Ren, and in doing so ushering them towards the line of pairs.

“Now, I want everyone to take your partner’s hand, and find a space.”

Hux looked at Ren, who looked back at him with a strange determination in his eyes as he grabbed hold of Hux’s hand and lead him into a space. Hux glanced around, and felt a lot less comforted when he saw the smiling, happy faces around him. He took a slow breathe and tried to relax.

“Now,” Maz said as she wondered around the room, “decide which of you should lead.”

Hux looked at Ren. “Would you mind if I lead?” Ren asked, sounding so polite and unlike how he expected him to behave, that Hux took a moment to respond.

“Well,” In truth Hux _did_ mind. Despite his limited dance experience, he hated to be treated as inferior in anything. Ren detected his reluctance and so felt it necessary to convince him.

“I _am_ taller,” Ren said, as if that wasn’t obvious, “and _I_ have danced before.” That was unexpected.

“Really?”

“You haven’t?” Ren seemed genuinely surprised.

“Believe it or not, classical dance isn’t really high on the list of activities at a military academy.” He tried and failed to keep the irritation out of his voice. He felt as if Ren was laughing at him.

Before Ren could respond, Maz began explaining the basic hold. “Now, leads, take your partner’s right hand in your left, and hold their hand lightly as if you were shaking it, then bring your partner in to face you, slightly right of centre, with light contact between you.”

Hux hoped Ren couldn’t see the mild terror in his eyes as Ren pulled him closer. “This is ridiculous,” Hux muttered, “when am I ever going to ne-”

“Shh,” Ren whispered, unable to conceal a smile, “listen to Maz.”

“Good. Now leads, place your right arm comfortably on your partner’s left shoulder blade, and partners place your right arm comfortably on the lead’s left.”

Maz walked between the pairs, correcting holds. “Good, girls,” she said, passing Phasma and Netal, “everyone, look at these two.” Phasma, who was facing Hux, grinned at him, he glared back. As Maz approached Hux and Ren, Hux felt his back straighten a little. “Good, Solo, relax Hux, that’s it-new to this are we?” He looked up to find Ren biting down a laugh. He glared at him. Ren was enjoying this too much.

“Now, we’re going to move into a basic box: Forward, back, side, together. Partners, move in the reverse, one two three, one two three, good Mitaka and Aayla.” Hux suddenly felt baffled by all the lefts and rights, ones and twos. Ren noticed his horror and laughed quietly.

_Follow my lead_

“I thought we’d agree you’d stop invading my head,” Hux muttered, attempting to hide the embarrassed flush spreading across his cheeks as he stumbled after Ren.

“Sorry,” Ren muttered, “but it is useful.”

“I suppose.”

“Remember, move in a clockwise motion about the room- this is a travelling dance,” Maz called, from the centre of the room.

_One, two, three. One, two, three._

“What are you doing?” Hux hissed.

“I’m counting,” Ren replied, nonchalantly, “so no one sees how much of a beginner you are from counting aloud.”

Hux did see the sense in this. Even Res dancing with one of his brutish minions had more rhythm than him. He sighed. “Fine.”

_I’d also like to remind you to avoid calling me Kylo Ren with these people_

“What? Why?” Hux whispered, “It’s just a nickname, right?” Ren didn’t respond. “Fine, I won’t say anything.”

_Thank you_

Hux rolled his eyes. “Now I want all leads to try a simple turn with your partners,” Maz said, once again filling Hux with dread.

“It’s ok, I’ve got this,” Ren said, smiling at Hux now. Feeling more than a little humiliated, Hux immediately became defensive.

“Really? Shouldn’t it be you doing a twirl, what with your stupid black dress?” Now it was Ren’s turn to glare, abruptly spinning Hux around in a strangely graceful underarm turn, before he could get another word in.

“Good turning boys,” Maz smiled as she passed by, resulting in a smug grin from Ren.

“Ok fine, you can dance, but I’d destroy you in a fight.”

“You wish,” Ren laughed, still smiling at Hux’s glaring face.

Maybe dancing wasn’t so bad, Hux thought, as he continued to be twirled around the room by a gleeful Kylo Ren.

 

Hux lay awake that night, with Millicent purring affectionately on his stomach.

“Hey, Mitaka, are you awake?”

“Hmmm.” He rolled over, cocooned in the duvet, eyes closed. Hux turned his head to face him, careful not to disturb the cat.

“What do you think of Solo?” He sounded casual, he hoped.

“He’s got quite nice hair I guess,” Mitaka said, eyes still closed, as he scrunched his face into a frown, “not really my type though.”

“What-no, i wasn’t-” Hux scrambled, but Mitaka was already facing the wall again, at the very least feigning sleep.

He did have nice hair, Hux thought vaguely, before falling asleep himself.

*

Unfortunately for Hux, Mitaka wasn’t the only one to gain an infuriating interpretation of ‘Ben Solo’ after the dance lessons.

At lunch the following day, Ren had actually sat with them for a while, before excusing himself, to meditate, of all things. As soon as he had vacated the dining hall, Phasma leant forward across the table dramatically. This can’t be good, Hux thought, noting the intense excitement spreading across her face.

 “So, he seems nice,” she said, grinning at Hux.

“If you judge someone as ‘nice’ after they sit in utter silence all lunch, then I may have to rethink my own high opinions of you Phasma,” he said as he pointedly avoided making eye contact with her.

“Yes, but only because he couldn’t keep his eyes off of _you_ the whole time.”

Hux huffed in defence, looking at Mitaka for some sort of support, who was currently trying, and failing, to maintain a neutral expression.

“There’s nothing to be ashamed of Hux. It’s a well known fact that dancing flames romance. Speaking of which,” she said, glancing at the clock on the back wall, “I’m meeting Netal in my cabin in ten, bye guys.” With that she was gone, leaving Hux glaring pointedly at Mitaka, as he attempted to give him some sort of sympathetic smile.

They were spending the afternoon at some form of art workshop that had been set up outside. Apparently it was meant to cultivate ‘calm and calculated thinking’. Hux had met that idea with a customary eye roll, but now that he was comfortably sat, sketching the forest opposite, he did feel ever so slightly soothed, that is when he had the willpower to not glance at Ren who seemed to be aggressively painting _something-_ trust him to make painting look aggressive.

Hux was given space for his mind to wonder, as they all worked on their individual pieces. Perhaps Ren _was_ attractive, but that didn’t mean that he was attracted _to_ him. And yes, Ren stared a lot, but that was just because he was weird, wasn’t it?

Hux wasn’t particularly daunted by sexual attraction-throwing a bunch of teenage boys together at the Academy soon taught Hux that reciprocated desires could easily be managed, with a little mutual understanding, and minimal emotional attachment. It was just that this, whatever _this_ was, it didn’t feel like that.

Hux sighed. Here he was, sat in a field, drawing a picture of a fucking forest, thinking about his _feelings._ What would his father say? Well, Hux knew exactly what he’d say: ‘ _Get over it Armitage, there’s no room for weakness in the military.’_

And get over it he would. They had the next two days free, for ‘individual recreation’, Kap had mentioned that morning,  so Hux told himself that by the time the recreation period was over, he would have figured out whatever the hell was going on here, and be well and truly over it. Somehow.

He glanced back at Ren, who was currently tearing up whatever he’d been working on. Hux almost smiled affectionately at the sight. Almost.

*

The following morning, Ren was nowhere to be seen as they sat in the hall for breakfast, which at first seemed disappointing, until Hux realised that this gave him a chance to prepare his plan to sort his life out.  He did mildly regret asking Phasma for her input however.

“Look, Hux, we’re only here for another week, so there’s very little point wasting time deliberating over your choices.”

“I agree,” Mitaka piped up, “Half the people here have already spent a night in someone else’s cabin. It’s no big deal.”

Hux glared at Mitaka, who looked back down at his food. Hux rubbed a hand across his eyes; this was more difficult than he thought it would be. “I just don’t know if it’s something I should just forget about, not encourage.”

“Hux, you’re not at the Academy now, so you don’t need to be afraid to have feelings,” Phasma said, “and after this week is over, you can go back to living your heartless, military life, feeling a little more fulfilled-maybe even more focused- as you won’t feel like you’re missing out on anything.”

Mitaka nodded in agreement. Hux sighed. It did sound like a reasonable suggestion: letting his feelings concerning Ren to flourish, if only to feed this fleeting desire for some sort of romance, before his military career got serious. Besides, after camp, he’d never have to see Ren again.

“Just look at this like a military strategy,” Phasma suggested. “I think everyone’s just spending today exploring the grounds, so it’ll be easy to find some space.”

“That is if I can manage to find R-Solo.”

“Just wait around outside for a while,” Phasma said, “he’s always moping near the forest, he’s bound to find you.”

Hux sighed again. This suddenly seemed ridiculous. It wasn’t like he could just go up to him like _hello Ren, do you mind if we make out, so I can move on with my life, thank you._

 He pushed back his chair with a sigh, making his way towards the cabin to try and find his bearings. At least then Mitaka and Phasma could talk about him without him having to listen. They made it seem so easy.

Hux made his way into the cabin, fetching his favoured black boots, appreciating how they make him just a little taller. He almost stopped to check his reflection in the mirror, before scolding himself. He was being an idiot. He wasn’t going to act like some blushing virgin around Ren-because he wasn’t. He just needed to control himself, now knowing that his thoughts may not be completely safe from Ren’s jedi mind tricks.

He wandered out the cabin, towards the edge of the forest, before realising Millicent had followed him outside. “Not now, Millicent,” he said aloud, before realising he was talking to a cat.

He’d asked Kap earlier that day if the cat belonged to anyone, who didn’t seem to think so, so Hux hoped he could somehow take her home. Independence was favoured at military finishing school, so he was sure no one would notice if he had a cat with him-besides he was pretty sure it wasn’t forbidden to keep pets.

He just had to make sure she didn’t get eaten by some forest beast before then. “Millicent, go back,” he said, attempting to usher her away from the forest, but she wasn’t listening. She slinked through Hux’s legs, purring softly.

He was about to consider carrying her back, when she suddenly turned back of her own accord, making her way directly to his cabin. He was about to feel a little rejected at the sudden dismissal, when he saw Ren, of all people, emerging from the shadows.

“So you can mind control animals now?” Hux said, trying to appear natural, as if he wasn’t expecting such an encounter.

“I’m working my way up to people,” he muttered, “I can feel my power growing.”

“Well, that’s nice.” _That’s nice?_ Hux sounded idiotic to his own ears, but how else do you respond to such a disclosure?

He tried again. Strategy. He could do this. “So, Ren, what are you doing with your free day?” He said this as he leant casually back against one of the trees on the edge of the forest, one foot resting on the trunk, hands in his pockets. He hoped he looked composed, cocky even, everything he currently wasn’t.

By the look on Ren’s face he seemed to have bought it. He looked, if Hux wasn’t mistaken, _nervous_.

“I was planning to try and find the forest clearing again,” Ren said, “it’s such a peaceful place, somewhere I have yet to find on my home planet.” He looked serious. Hux smirked at this, making Ren frown. “Do you want to...come with me?”

Hux tried not to look overly joyous, he just nodded, a smile on his lips as he followed Ren into the woods. Despite the strange closeness they seemed to have achieved though the dancing (he still couldn’t believe that he’d actually _danced_ ) they walked in utter silence, Hux struggling to maintain his cool exterior.

After an immeasurable amount of time, they once again reached the clearing, Ren immediately sitting cross legged near the centre, Hux sitting just next to him with their knees brushing slightly. After a moment of silence, Hux had to say something, as Ren sat, seemingly at peace, eyes closed. “Are you meditating?”

“No.” He said, eyes still closed, “I can’t really do that with you here can I?”

This surprised Hux. “Then why did you invite me to come with you?” This was dangerous territory and he knew it, he tried not to lean forward, as Ren turned to face him, eyes open now.

“I like talking to you,” he said, stating this as if he were telling him something completely ordinary, “you have a certain-calming presence, I suppose, which I find helpful. I’m not the calmest person you’ll meet.” He looked at his hands now, ashamed.

“Well, you’ve helped me too-with the Waltz that is.” This made Ren laugh, spontaneously and full, his eyes smiled at Hux now in a way that could only make him smile in response.

“I thought I’d hate it here,” Ren admitted, still looking at Hux, who was trying his damndest not to blush under his gaze, “but it’s not been so bad. In fact, it’s been worth it just to get away from my family. They seem to smother me sometimes.”

“I know what you mean.” Hux muttered, which he immediately wished to retract, as he saw the impact it had on Ren who jumped up suddenly.

“How could you possibly know what I mean?” Ren almost yelled, hands balled into fists, “you’re left alone more than anyone I’ve met. I’ve seen your isolation in your mind. I’ve _seen_ it.”

“Ren-I-” he really didn’t know what to say to calm the sudden fire in Ren’s eyes, as he stood up too. He noticed the first heavy raindrops fall onto Ren’s nose, the dark clouds he hadn’t noticed rolling in suddenly bursting overhead.

“You don’t know what it’s like to see the dread and worry in your parent’s eyes, to see your uncle constantly trying to control you, knowing they all fear you’ll turn to the dark side. So they smother you, thinking they can stop it growing.” Ren took a step towards Hux, their faces just centimetres apart. “You know nothing about it.”

With that Ren started to walk away from Hux back to the path. Hux tried not to roll his eyes, a little stunned over how quickly this had derailed. The rain was falling heavily now, soaking his hair, as he nervously ran his fingers through it, his and Ren’s dark clothes becoming sodden and heavy.

“Ren, wait!” He called, having to almost shout over the heavy rainfall, feeling the mud sliding beneath his boots. Without thinking he grabbed Ren’s hand, pulling him towards him, as if they were back in the hall, dancing the waltz.

Ren gawped at him, anger and something more brewing across his face. For a single moment Hux noticed the raindrops dancing on Ren’s dark eyelashes. Then he snapped. Hux surged forwards, catching Ren’s lips with his own, as he heard Ren release a small gasp in shock, his eyes screwed tightly shut. Hux closed his own as he pulled Ren closer, knotting his fingers through Ren’s ridiculous hair, his other hand caressing Ren’s rain soaked cheek. Ren’s messy determination to deepen the kiss revealed his inexperience, but Hux didn’t care, allowing Ren’s tongue to invade his mouth, burying a groan as the rain continued to fall, making everything soaked and perfect.

Just as Hux began to feel the need to gasp for air, Ren pushed him away, forcefully enough that he almost collapsed into the mud, evoking unpleasant memories of his arrival at camp. Ren seemed a little dazed, blinking a few times at Hux, before turning and dashing away from the clearing, too swift for Hux to follow.

“Well, that went well.” Hux muttered. For a few moments he just stood there, staring blankly into the rain, before embarking on the long walk back to camp.

By the time he’d navigated his way out of the forest (after realising he’d only ever moved through it by Ren’s guidance) he’d missed lunch, as well as being soaked to the core. To make matters worse, he entered his cabin to find Mitaka and Phasma sat on his bed, playing some sort of drinking game.

“Hux!” Mitaka half yelled before shouting an accusing “ha” at Phasma who cheerfully took another gulp of an already have consumed bottle of what appeared to be Corellian whisky.

“What the _hell_ are you two doing?” Hux said, as he stood in the doorway, dripping rainwater onto the floor.

“What does it look like?” Phasma said, “we were betting on when you’d get back, amongst other things, and _I_ said ‘he’s not coming back tonight’ but then Mitaka said ‘sure he will’, and here you are.”

Hux sighed, completely not in the mood for this. “I’m taking a shower,” he said, pulling some dry clothes with him, “before I freeze to death.”

He was almost grateful once he’d showered to find Mitaka and Phasma still there, looking a little more concerned for his welfare than they had done upon his arrival.

He sat down on Mitaka’s bed to face them. Clearly they’d have questions. “So,” said Phasma, sitting cross legged now to face him, “how’d it go?”

“Well, I kissed him,” this earned him a little ‘whoop’ from Mitaka, who seemed to have drunk a little more than Phasma, “but then he ran off.”

 Mitaka began an ‘awww’ in drunken sympathy, before Phasma shoved him to shut him up.

“That’s not all bad then,” Phasma said, offering a kind smile, “did he kiss you back?”

Hux mind relayed a helpful flashback to Ren forcing his tongue deeper into his mouth, the resulting blush that spread across his face giving Phasma all the answers she needed. “Well that’s something,” she said.

Hux gladly welcomed Millicent into his lap, who’d been huddled under Mitaka’s bed since she returned to the cabin, obviously not impressed by his friends. “Anyway, enough about me. Why are you sat in here drinking whiskey?”

“Well, my lovely friend Netal has gone into town, and I, not wishing to smother her, remained here. Then when it started to rain, Mitaka and I decided to break into Kap’s cabin, just because, I don’t know, reasons. After which we found this,” she snatched the whiskey away from Mitaka, “and that’s when we suspended all other activities until you returned.”

Hux laughed at this, glad to be distracted from Ren and his petulant mood swings. “Plus,” continued Phasma, “we have tomorrow free as well, so maybe we could go into town too, apparently it’s only half an hour’s walk. You can bring Ren- that is if you find him before tomorrow, and we’ll have a pleasant time watching you try and sort your life out.”

“I’m in!” shouted Mitaka, who was now stretched across Hux’s bed, precariously close to rolling off the edge.

“Sure. Why not.” Hux gladly took the whiskey from Phasma, taking a long swig. “It can’t get much worse, can it?”

*

Strangely enough, Ren _did_ appear at lunch the next day, sitting once more at their table. Despite Ren not making eye contact with anyone, or even speaking, Hux was pleased. He’d almost feared Ren might disappear overnight-and that would be it.

Despite Ren’s brooding presence, Phasma continued with her day trip plans with her usual enthusiasm. They walked, as promised, for about thirty minutes. Phasma- after apparently learning the route from Netal the previous day- led the group, closely followed by Mitaka. Hux walked in silence besides Ren, occasionally risking a glance at him, but whenever he did, Ren would be looking at the floor or away from him. Hux tried not to feel too frustrated, knowing that Ren would probably sense it.

Sooner than Hux expected, the recently muddied grass underfoot turned to cobbled stone, eventually leading to a long, winding street. Hux was a little amazed at the sight of this strange little town. Even Ren was now looking around him to observe the sight.

They had suddenly stumbled upon a network of cobbled streets, with tall, old terraced houses towering on either side. As they wandered down one of the streets, the houses became more elaborate, with ornate, carved doorframes, and bold paintwork in startling pastel blues and greens. Occasionally Hux would see a curtain twitch, as a curious pair (or multiple pairs) of eyes keenly observed them.

Just as Hux was beginning to feel like he could enjoy this little outing, Phasma called out something about seeing Aayla and Netal a while away, before dragging a seemingly reluctant Mitaka away down a narrow side street, before either him or Ren could follow.

Hux turned to look at Ren, who seemed a little alarmed before once again schooling his features into a neutral expression. Hux had to say something, pulling his thick black coat tighter around him to protect himself from a sudden bite of wind.

“Ren, look, I would like to apologise, for yesterday. Upon reflection, I feel as if I may have come onto you a little strong and...” He trailed off as he suddenly felt Ren take up one of his cool hands in his own.

“You feel cold.” Ren stated.

“Well-I-”

“And Hux, you may not have observed,” Ren said, looking directly at Hux now, still holding his hand, “but I did kiss you back.”

“Yes, I suppose you did.”

“I did.”

“Well it just gave me some mixed messages, I suppose,” Hux muttered pulling his hand away from Ren, “when you ran off and left me standing in the rain like a fool.”

“You’re not a fool Hux, we both know that. Come on, I can smell the sea.” And with that Ren began to move at a rapid pace down yet another cobbled side street.

“You what?” Hux had very little idea what Ren was on about, or if the force could be used as some sort of navigation system, but he followed anyway, reluctant to be left behind once again.

After a few moments they did in fact arrive at the sea. The cobbled streets had lead them to a sudden opening, were a dark sea wall met a dark sea, which in turn met a dark horizon. Hux stopped suddenly in his tracks. He couldn’t recall the last time he’d seen an ocean. It must have been years.

He eventually snapped himself out of his momentary shock, before sitting next to Ren on the sea wall. The relatively calm sea below was far enough away to keep their feet dry, and for that at least, Hux was grateful.

“This is better,” Ren said, his robe and hair blowing gently behind him in the salty breeze. “I could sense eyes on us earlier.”

Hux looked at Ren in disbelief. For the first time in a while, he had no idea what was going on here. At least he was no longer bored.

Ren must have picked up on Hux’s moderate distress, as he actually offered up an apology. “I’m sorry I ran off like that,” Ren admitted in a rush after a moment of silence, “And I’m sorry I lashed out. Sometimes, when I feel threatened or cornered, I can’t control it.” He looked down at the water below, ashamed.

“What could you ever find threatening about me?” Hux asked, only partly sarcastically, which Ren, after observing Hux’s newly placed smirk, decided not to glorify with a response.

“And I’m sorry too. We both know that I have a very slight understanding of all this force business. Besides,” said Hux, after a moment’s deliberation, “I _can_ truly understand you about one thing.”

“Oh really, what’s that?” Ren said sceptically.

“The whole name thing. I hate mine too.” Ren’s eyes snapped up from the ocean.

Hux almost regretted speaking, and would have stayed silent if it wasn’t for Ren’s desperately earnest expression.

“You promise not to laugh?” Ren nodded solemnly. “My first name-believe it or not- is Armitage. My father’s choice, apparently, the bastard.”

“Wow,” Ren said, looking genuinely shocked. “He must have hated you.”

“You know what, in all honesty, I think he did. God knows why.”

A pause. “I hate my father too,” Ren admitted. “Perhaps one day I’ll kill him.” Hux smiled a little at that.

“Well, I’m glad we’re both bonding over our daddy issues.” He said, regretting the words when he realised he’d failed to imply enough sarcasm.

Ren smiled at him softly. “I’m glad you’re here with me, Hux, for now at least.” Ren  said, reaching over to tenderly hold Hux’s hand, a gesture so small, so gentle, that Hux felt almost _tearful_.

“I’ve never told anyone my real first name before,” Hux said quietly, hating the raw emotion in his voice, “I’d appreciate it if you didn’t repeat it.”

Ren leaned forward to close the narrow space between them, delicately pressing their lips together.

_Of course_

Hux smiled into the kiss, shuffling along the wall so he could press close to Ren. They kissed long and slow, their mouths and tongues seeking to heal, without the startled swiftness of their first kiss. Hux tugged a little at the back of Ren’s hair, giving him deeper access to Ren’s mouth as the kiss became heated and needy, Ren whimpering quietly into the salty air.

Ren wrapped an arm around Hux, pulling him across so he was almost fully sat in Ren’s lap. He should have felt afraid, the icy waves lapping at the wall just below him, but there was something about Ren’s tight embrace that told Hux he would never let him fall.

As Hux began to drag his teeth teasingly across Ren’s lower lip, his hand that wasn’t clutching at Ren’s shoulder brushed lightly over the rising heat beneath Ren’s robes. Ren groaned into Hux’s mouth, closing his eyes at the sensation.

Hux smiled at this response. “Why, don’t we go back to the cabins, hmm?” Hux whispered, ghosting Ren’s now slightly swollen lips, “so I can take care of that.”

Ren looked directly at Hux now, his eyes darker than ever as he gave a small nod, whilst keeping Hux fixed in his arms.

 _I’ve never--I haven’t done_ that _before_

Ren’s voice echoed in his mind, as a blush spread across Ren’s cheeks in front of him. Hux couldn’t help but feel a little smug at this information. Finally, he had the upper hand.

“It’s ok, Hux whispered, we’ll figure it out.” Hux carefully untangled himself from Ren, as the both descended from the wall, still hand in hand.

Ren seemed to have found a quicker path back to the cabins than before, through the blossoming darkness. “I’ll leave Mitaka a note,” Hux muttered, as they neared his cabin, “I’m sure he won’t mind.”

“No, we’ll go to mine. I don’t share a cabin.” Ren said, before leading them away. For some reason this didn’t surprise Hux, although he did have more pressing matters on his mind at present.

And if, later that night, Ren unknowingly smashed a bedside lamp through some uncontrolled use of the force, well, Hux wasn’t going to complain.

*

The following morning, Hux awoke to sunlight trickling through a partly closed curtain, with a heavy arm spread across his chest. He glanced at Ren, who was still sleeping peacefully, his dark hair surprisingly unruffled.

Hux watched for several minutes, as the sunlight slowly spread across Ren’s face, eventually causing his eyes to flutter open.

Ren blinked up at him, and for a moment Hux feared he would bolt again. “Your eyes,” Ren muttered, blinking in the light, “they’re green.” Hux breathed a small sigh of relief, relaxing a little into his pillow. They continued to lie like that for a while, watching the sun slowly spread across the bed. Eventually Ren shifted slightly, before letting out a small groan of discomfort.

“Shower?” Hux suggested.

“Shower.”

Afterwards, once Hux had smoothed out yesterday’s clothes from where they lay crumbled from the night before, they both began to dress.

“So how come you don’t share a cabin?” Hux asked, although he’d already half guessed at the answer.

“My mother feared I’d be too volatile to have a roommate,” Ren said, just as his eyes landed on the broken lamp, “although she probably didn’t foresee this happening.”

Hux laughed, before glancing at Ren’s bedside clock. “Shit Ren-we’ve missed breakfast, and the morning activity. Why’d you suppose they haven’t come looking for us?” Hux already knew the answer to that one, too. It would be fairly obvious what they’d find. Hux pulled on his boots before heading towards the door, Ren following close behind him.

“This is going to be fun,” Hux muttered.

_Hilarious_

Somehow sarcasm sounded even better in the mind, Hux thought, as Ren shut the cabin door behind them.

When they arrived at the dining hall, lunch had just begun, meaning just about everyone at camp was there to see Hux and Ren emerge together, looking a little too conspicuous in their day old clothes.

Trying to keep his expression neutral, Hux calmly made his way to their table, Ren following close behind. He sat opposite Phasma, who was grinning stupidly.

“So,” she said, looking from Hux to Ren and back again, “where have you two been?”

Hux just smiled at her, daring her to say it.

“Mitaka and I were almost worried for your safety, when you didn’t return to your cabin last night,” she said with fake sincerity, looking pointedly at Mitaka as she said this, who just smiled into his food, “but then, when you were both missing at breakfast, we figured you’d probably survived.”

“Hux was in my cabin last night,” Ren stated seriously, his sudden input (and lack of tact) causing Hux to turn to face him, an eyebrow raised.

“I think they’ve probably guessed that,” Hux said, unable to resist a smile as Ren turned to face him, his expression sullen.

No one mentioned the previous day for the rest of the meal, as Phasma diverted the conversation to discussing the yoga class planned for the afternoon. And if Hux reached under the table, to hold one of Ren’s large hands in his own, well, no one had to know.

The very idea of a yoga class would previously have horrified Hux, something he’d never have experienced at the Academy. But he currently felt so far away from that world that his previous opinions were rendered mute. It also helped that Ren had shed his robe for the occasion, revealing yesterday’s pleasantly fitted black t-shirt and pants. There were worse ways to spend his time.

“Hux, Solo, it’s good of you to join us!” Kap had called out as they made their way out to the field for the class, resulting in several sniggers from the group. Hux felt the familiar red heat spread across his cheeks, but it was completely worth it when he glanced over to see Ren suffering from a similar fate.

That night, feeling strangely relaxed after the yoga class, Ren guided Hux back to his cabin, neither of them dwelling on the possibility of him spending his night anywhere else.


	3. Chapter 3

Hux was surprised to find out that the next day was completely dedicated to combat, something he was beginning to assume that his mother had lied about. They had spent their morning outside learning some sort of fencing, which Hux greatly enjoyed- especially when he realised his combat skills were far superior to everyone he faced.

He had been keen to be partnered with Ren, if only to prove to him that he really could beat him in a fight, but Ren seemed intent on avoiding any such encounter, much to his disappointment.

At lunch, to Phasma and Mitaka’s amusement, he decided to confront Ren about it.

“Are you afraid, Solo,” Hux said teasingly, nudging Ren with his elbow, “afraid I’ll crush you that is.”

He laughed as Ren frowned at him in response, before storming out of the dining room with a dramatic flourish of his robe.

“Isn’t he great?” Phasma said with a grin, laughing at Hux’s stunned expression.

The afternoon session had simply been named ‘hand to hand’, which Hux was more than ready for. Regardless of how calming or helpful the camp was turning out to be, he was beginning to long for some sort of basic combat.

As he went back outside to the field, Ren approached him, his eyes brewing an apology. “I’m not a coward,” Ren muttered, as he moved directly in front of Hux, “I just don’t want to hurt you.”

Hux scoffed at this, breaking Ren’s intense eye contact. “Ren, you’ve seen me fight-I’m not some fragile specimen you need to seal in a jar-I can look after myself.”

Ren gripped tightly at his arms then, causing a few people to stare, before not so subtlety diverting their gaze. “Of course you’re not _fragile_ Hux, but I simply have no wish to act violently towards you.” He somehow managed to intensify his stare, causing Hux to quiver slightly as Ren lowered his voice. “Sometimes, I’m afraid of my own strength.”

Hux couldn’t help it. He stretched up on his toes to gently kiss the angst away from Ren’s stupid face.

_People are looking_

Hux didn’t need the force to know that as he pulled away. “I don’t care,” he whispered. He truly didn’t, he realised as they moved away from each other as Kap coughed to gain their attention.

Hux barely absorbed Kap’s ramblings over the combat guidelines, so took a moment to grasp what was going on, as Res approached him, ready to fight. Hux glanced around him. It seemed they were doing some sort of sparring in pairs. He tried not to smile.

Hux’s initially cold opinion of Res, formed after their encounter at the beginning of camp, had softened a little after seeing him dance the waltz so gracefully the other day. However as Res approached him now Hux realised that he was still completely willing to punch the guy in the face-again.

Hux moved into a defensive stance, as Res shuffled needlessly in front of him. Maybe he’s afraid of me, Hux wondered hopefully, revelling momentarily in the idea that he could be feared.

“I see your Ben Solo’s little bitch nowadays,” Res spat. Perhaps not.

“Mature,” Hux responded curtly, before aiming a punch at his head, which Res dodged, infuriatingly.

“Everyone knows he’s fucking you,” Res said, as Hux dodged a feeble attack.

As if that’s an insult, Hux thought. “Who’s to say I’m the one being fucked?” Hux smirked at Res’ temporarily startled expression, before landing a fast side kick at Res’ stomach, causing him to keel over for a moment.

“Oh please,” Res said as he straightened up, “don’t embarrass yourself. In fact, I’ve heard multiple people suggest that he’s paying you for your _services_.

Instead of being distracting, Res’ insults only fuelled Hux’s attacks. He dodged another punch, before landing a powerful kick towards Res’ groin. As he buckled over in agony, one hand up in forced surrender, Hux smirked. “Who’s embarrassing themselves now?”

He looked around as Res groaned in pain. Several other fights had paused, some looking on in admiration, others in mild terror. Hux made eye contact with Ren.

 _See_ , he thought, as loud as he could, childishly hoping that Ren would hear him.

“Ok everyone, let’s take a break,” Kap said, glaring at Hux, “and remember: our goal here is to practice key techniques, _without_ actually causing physical harm. "

Hux grinned at that. This was turning out to be a great day.

That night, Hux awoke suddenly, to find Ren nudging at his arm. “What?” Hux hissed, “I’m trying to sleep here.” He rolled back over, his irritation almost comically, after the intimacy they’d shared just hours before.

“Alright, _Armitage_.” Hux’s eyes snapped open at the name.

“Ok Ren, what do you want? And if you value your life, you’ll learn not to call me that again.”

Ren sighed. “I think there’s a cat, sat on my stomach.”

Hux glanced up, squinting in the darkness. “Oh, that’s just Millicent, you know, that cat you mind controlled. I was waiting for her to find me.” He closed his eyes again, happy that there wasn’t any actual issue.

“But-it’s sleeping on me.”

“ _She_ is sleeping on you,” Hux corrected, eyes still closed, “besides, she only seems to do that with people she likes, so she’s obviously forgiven you for mind controlling her.”

Ren sighed again, before laying back down in defeat. “I hate you,” he muttered.

“I hate you too.”

*

“Today we’ll be focusing on anger management techniques,” Kap said, looking pointedly at Hux, resulting in a snort from Mitaka and a smile from Hux, who found it frankly brilliant that he was being labelled as the one with a temper, whilst he was stood next to Kylo Ren.

They spent their day going through breathing exercises and calming thinking techniques, which Hux was surprised to find he actually quite enjoyed. When they all attempted guided meditation that afternoon, Hux had to give Ren a shove when he noticed some small pieces of grass being uprooted by Ren’s subconscious use of the force. Luckily no one else seemed to notice.

That night in Ren’s cabin, with Millicent asleep on Hux’s stomach, they simply talked. Hux rested his head against the wide expanse of Ren’s chest and felt himself relax as Ren ran his fingers slowly through his hair.

Hux had been looking forward to another intense sexual encounter- as nothing with Ren was ever particularly chilled. Yet when they started discussing their childhoods on their home worlds, Hux found he didn’t mind one bit.

Ren told him of his father’s best friend Chewbacca, who was a Wookie and the only sort of family that Ren didn’t find infuriating. Hux in turn answered Ren’s questions over the more misleading memories he’d seen in Hux’s mind. As they lay there, Hux realised that he suddenly felt something close to happiness, something he hadn’t truly felt in a long time.

Ren fell asleep first, his hand still in Hux’s hair, their legs tangled together. Hux lay awake long into the night, listening to the regular sound of Ren’s quiet breathing. He attempted to analyse the situation, running over his initial strategy of experiencing the cliché of a holiday romance, simply to allow himself to put it behind him at the end of the two weeks. But as he forced himself to shut his eyes, which, frustratingly, only seemed to amplify the sound of Ren’s heart, he realised that perhaps his strategy had been a little ridiculous.

How could he ever have believed that he could so easily let this go? Here he was, lying awake at night, after gladly talking until Ren fell asleep. He truly felt for Ren, with his stupid face and bratty mood swings. He felt for him and he hated it.

*

The next day Hux felt exhausted. It wasn’t so much the lack of sleep-he was used to functioning on minimal rest after many intense years of Academy training- but it was more emotional exhaustion. He couldn’t stop reminding himself that this time next week he would be so far away from this place, from Ren. He knew that he’d think of it as a dream, something without true substance or depth. He just wanted it to stay real.

It was almost a little unbearable when Mitaka and Phasma started joking about possible reasons for his tired demeanour, so much so that he caught himself using some of the breathing techniques he’d learnt yesterday.

As they moved out to the field after breakfast for the day’s activity, the sun began to creep out from behind a cloud, making Hux squint. He hated the sun, but today it seemed to mock him with its enduring light. He shook his head slightly, scolding himself for being so overdramatic.

Kap announced that they’d be learning to play music today, handing out instrument from what looked suspiciously like a reclaimed wheelbarrow.

Hux took a violin, making Ren look at him with sudden interest. “You play?”

“Unfortunately, yes. Not the most useful skill I have to say, and this violin is hideous compared to my one at home.” To Hux’s surprise, Ren also took a violin, a smile on his face.

“Teach me.”

“Ren, I can’t just _teach_ you. It takes years to learn.”

Ren glared at him, his violin making a splintering sound as Ren began to clench his fists. “Well at least play something then, if you’re so brilliant.” It was almost laughable that Ren was demanding that he played him the violin in such a furious tone.

“Fine.” After a pause, Hux settled on his favourite piece. A sad, lingering song that made him think of old trees and rainstorms, something his father had mocked him for playing when he first performed in front of his parents, telling his son that the sound made him appear weak. As if a violin could ever sound like the perfect recipe for a cadet at the Academy.

A few people had stopped what they were doing to watch, Phasma and Mitaka included, a little open mouthed in surprise. Hux resisted the temptation to smile at the approval, knowing he was talented, yet never quite being encouraged for such a gift. As he brought the piece to a close, several people actually clapped, forcing a small smile out of Hux.

“That was brilliant!” Mitaka said, as he ran over, Phasma close behind.

“Yeah Hux,” Phasma said, nudging his arm, “who knew you were hiding that?”

He just shrugged, smiling at Ren who was looking at him with the kind of intensity that made him squirm. Eventually everyone returned to their own instruments, some turning to watch Aayla pick up a Lylek tube and start to play.

“Let’s get out of here,” Ren muttered.

“Really?” Hux said in mock surprise. “Do you not have a secret musical gift that you wish to reveal?”

“Shut up,” Ren muttered, pulling at Hux’s arm to drag him towards the forest, “you know I don’t have that kind of patience.”

“You don’t say, and I can walk by myself you know,” Hux said, pulling away from Ren’s grip.

“Sorry.”

“It’s perfectly acceptable Ren,” Hux said, as they neared the forest, “and I don’t mean to be a buzz-kill, but can’t people see us leaving?” Hux looked back at the group, but was surprised to find Kap fully engrossed in trying to organise the campers. “Are you mind controlling him?” Hux asked, unable to hide his amazement in his voice. “I thought you couldn’t control people?”

“It’s actually quite simple,” Ren said, leading the way through the forest now, “I simply have to plant an image in his mind of us still being with the group.”

“Wow,” Hux muttered, genuinely impressed, “that’s useful.”

They travelled the rest of the way in silence, something that Hux had grown to accept in the forest, as if Ren needed to concentrate fully on finding the way back to the clearing.

Once they arrived at the clearing, Hux observed that the grass looked greener, with a few more small and modest flowers peaking through the grass as a result of the sunshine following the earlier rain.

As before, Ren sat down in the grass, with Hux next to him, who suddenly felt mildly alarmed at how comfortable this situation now felt. Hux looked at Ren, and smiled. Ren didn’t smile back.

_I do not wish to leave this place_

The thought echoed around Hux’s mind, a strange mirror to his own. He looked over at Ren, who was looking at the ground. “Me neither,” Hux muttered, realising it was true just as he said so. “We knew this would happen,” Hux said, attempting to keep his voice even, failing, “I just didn’t think I’d care so much.” Hux hated this, hated that he cared, but feeling, with a crippling certainty, that it was far too late to go back now.

“I-I also care Hux,” Ren said, looking back at Hux, with eyes so sad, that Hux almost had to look away, “about you, I mean.”

Hux didn’t know what to say, or even if he could, so he simply rested his head on Ren’s shoulder, closing his eyes to the world.

Hux had hoped to mask his depth of feeling from Ren, but now, in the shade of this field, he felt that it was an impossible task, and he almost didn’t mind.

He felt as if he’d been battling through a cruel storm of isolation and expectations, and by some terrifying chance, this ridiculous summer camp with force wielding Kylo Ren suddenly felt like a safe shore. He couldn’t be blamed if he wasn’t ready to return to the tempest just yet.

They sat like that, the sound of birdsong filling the air as the sun warmed the forest. Occasionally, either with or without his knowledge, a thought from Ren would find its way into Hux’s mind- his hatred of his home mingling with his ephemeral happiness here; thoughts so close to his own that Hux could have cried.

That night they made love in earnest, with Ren bathing Hux in lingering kisses, as if each one could be his last.

*

As sunlight once again woke Hux the following day, he glanced over to find an empty bed next to him, Millicent curled up on the creased sheets where Ren had previously slept.

  
He rolled over slowly; straining his ears to listen for any sound of Ren in the shower, but was met with dead silence. He glanced at the clock, realising Mitaka and Phasma would probably be at breakfast by now so he pulled on his clothes (he now kept clean ones in Ren’s cabin) before making his way to the dining room.

As he approached their table, he was surprised to find that Ren wasn’t already sat there. He sat down slowly, smiling slightly at Phasma and Mitaka, who looked a little concerned.

“Um, Hux?” Mitaka said slowly, “where’s Ren?”

“I don’t really know,” Hux said, attempting to sound casual, “he doesn’t have to spend every moment with me.”

“You snuck off with him yesterday didn’t you,” Phasma said with a grin, “we just looked round and you were gone.”

“Yeah, we did.” Hux said, hoping his face didn’t betray his thoughts. He couldn’t help feeling a little abandoned, especially after all they shared yesterday. Hux told himself not to be so silly. It wasn’t like they were a couple.

Hux continued to tell himself not to worry, as they were taught how to weave various kinds of fabrics by Maz throughout the day. Having Maz here only reminded him of dancing with Ren, and how he wished Ren were here so he could tell him.

He truly began to worry when Kap actually approached him, asking if he knew where Ben Solo was, as ‘you seem to be on good terms.’

As they ate their final meal of the day, Hux felt a little sick as he was reminded by Phasma that they were leaving the day after tomorrow. He couldn’t help the lurch in his stomach as he realised how much he wished to be spending these last days by Ren’s side.

“You don’t think he’s already left, do you?” Phasma asked, speaking what everybody had been quietly thinking.

“I don’t think he’d do that,” Hux muttered, his unspoken _not without saying goodbye_ hanging in the air. Hux’s mind drifted to Ren’s desperate kisses last night, a stab of fear hitting him as he realised just how much it had felt like a goodbye.

Phasma must have seen the misery on Hux’s face, so instead hoped to cheer him up by rapidly changing the subject. If questioned later, for the life of him Hux couldn’t have repeated what she and Mitaka had discussed.

Later, Mitaka asked if he’d be sleeping in their shared cabin, which he responded to with the suggestion that maybe he should wait in Ren’s as that’s where Ren would go if he came back.

Hux’s spirits were momentarily lifted as he found Millicent waiting for him, purring as Hux bent down for a moment to stroke her. He shifted off his coat, which he went to hang in Ren’s cabinet, but abruptly dropped it when he realised Ren’s cabinet was bear, all his clothes gone.

Until then Hux had assumed Ren was just off meditating somewhere-besides, no craft had landed anywhere near camp all day. Perhaps he’d called for a craft to come early this morning, Hux thought vaguely as he resisted the temptation to crumple to the floor. Was that it, then? Hux collected his scattered possessions from the room, refusing to cave when he realised at least half of his clothes smelled like Ren, before making his way back to his cabin, Millicent following at his heels.

“His clothes were gone,” Hux said, in way of an explanation as he entered the cabin, Mitaka’s sad smile making him want to punch something. He dumped his stuff on the floor, before slipping between the curtains to place himself on the window seat, Millicent climbing onto his lap. He lazily stroked her head, trying not to think about the shadowy figure he saw from this seat when he first arrived.

*

Hux awoke the next morning with a pain in his neck, before recalling that he’d fallen asleep with Millicent on the window seat, staring out across the field. He eased himself down, stretching his limbs as he slowly remembered just why he’d been there, instead of in Ren’s bed. He dragged a hand wearily over his face, pleased to find Mitaka had already headed out to breakfast.

He turned on the shower, letting the hot beads of water draw out the ache in his neck. And if he shed a few silent tear that were abruptly washed away, no one had to know.

He ate in silence as Mitaka and Phasma chattered aimlessly, after his initial hopes that Ren may be at breakfast were quickly crushed. It was only when he focused in for a moment on what they were discussing that he suddenly felt interested.

“What dance?” he asked, after catching a snippet of their discussion.

“Didn’t you know?” Phasma said, looking genuinely surprised.

“Clearly not.”

“Well,” she proceeded, “Maz is organising a dance in the main hall, to celebrate the end of camp, and we all get to help with preparations today.”

Hux let his head fall onto the table, letting out a muffled groan as he momentarily let his abrupt misery take over. “I’m guessing Solo’s still AWOL then,” Phasma said, glancing at Mitaka who nodded.

“Don’t worry too much Hux,” she said, patting his arm condescendingly, “I’m sure there’s plenty of people here you can dance with.”

Until that point Hux hadn’t actually considered that he’d be alone for the dance, he was simply a little stressed over having to see Maz again in the dance environment. Now Phasma had mentioned it, he just wanted to crawl back into his cabin, and stay there. This was horrible.

“I’m sure Mitaka will dance with you Hux,” Phasma said. Mitaka glared at her when Hux glanced up.

“It’s ok,” Hux muttered, “I can just, I don’t know, pack up my things early or something.”

“No way,” Phasma said, “we’re not leaving you moping in your cabin all night.”

Hux glared at her. “I don’t mope.”

“Besides,” Mitaka chipped in, “I’m sure there’ll be alcohol- it’s not difficult to get some in behind Kap’s back.”

Hux raised an eyebrow at that. Maybe it wouldn’t be so bad. He knew he’d have no one to dance with as everyone had their partners from the waltz classes- but he’d rather sit in the hall drunk than in his cabin sober.

So he gave in. They spent their day helping in the kitchen to prepare food, decorating the main hall with silver streamers and fixing what seemed to be fairy lights that Kap had provided. The hall actually ended up looking surprisingly pleasant, rather than tacky, as the skies began to darken; the old wooden beams providing a pleasing contrast to the white lights.

Hux returned to the cabin with Mitaka to change. It had mentioned on the leaflet his mother had given him to bring formal wear, but he’d sort of assumed it was just for a meal or something-the idea of a dance never crossing his mind. He sighed, chasing away the image of Ren in a suit, offering his hand for a dance. He had to accept the idea that he’d probably never see him again.

They made their way to the hall, Mitaka looking taller in a grey suit and tie, Hux in an expensive, black tailored number and tie that his mother had bought for him a few months back. On their way in, they spotted Phasma just ahead of them looking stunning in a full length gown- a glittering halter neck top flowing into a sweeping navy dress- which only flattered her impressive height.

She was linking arms with Netal beside her, who was now matching her height in black heels and an off the shoulder fitted black gown. Hux noted that they looked formidable.

Hux and Mitaka followed them inside, where they both spotted Aayla, looking majestic in a flowing white number. Mitaka turned to look at Hux, obviously feeling guilty about leaving him. Hux just waved him on, glad at least that his friends would enjoy their night.

There were seats placed around the room, so he took one next to the drinks table, many of which seemed notably alcoholic. He took a glass of something strong, and settled down for the evening. At least his friends danced well, he thought.

As the hours stretched on, the dancing and the music slowed. Kap disappeared into the night at some point, looking a little relieved that another camp had finished. Hux nodded to Maz as she sat a few seats from him, rapidly downing some obscure brand of something strong. Hux vaguely observed how his own drinks weren’t quite strong enough to block out everything he didn’t want to feel.

Hux only felt more depressed when he noted that at least two couples were making out in shadowed corners- he’d noticed a few others leaving at various points together, presumably to share a cabin for the final time.

As a slow waltz number began to play, just as Hux began to consider returning to his cabin, Maz shuffled over to sit next to him.

“Take some of this,” she said, passing him a half empty bottle that smelled faintly herby. “You look like you need it.” He took a small sip, flinching as the liquid burnt his throat slightly, before settling comfortingly in his stomach. He passed the bottle back, grimacing in way of a thankful smile.

“So, how come you’re not dancing with Solo,” she asked, pronouncing his name with peculiar emphasis.

“Why do you think?” Hux said bitterly, feeling just tipsy enough to share his thoughts freely, “I woke up yesterday and he was gone-just like that.” He looked out over the happy dancing couples. “He would have enjoyed this, I think.”

She looked at him then, her large eyes intense in a way that was different from Ren’s gaze, as if she could read him like a book.

“He’s a special one, that boy,” she said after a moment, dropping her gaze, “too much heart.”

“How can someone have _too much_ heart?” Hux asked, shifting to face Maz. “Besides, you don’t even know him.”

Maz’s eyes snapped back up to his then, looking as if she was about to respond, before sinking back into her chair, taking another sip of her drink.

“Is it true what they say about you,” Hux asked after a moment, intrigued now by this woman, “that this is your holiday from your world of smuggling and whatever?”

“It’s a necessary escape,” she said, looking at Hux with eyes suddenly sad, “something you must understand,” Hux frowned at this as she paused for a moment, “but you can never truly get away,” she said, eyes burning into Hux’s skull, “Solo is proof of that.”

“What could you _possibly_ mean by that?”

But Maz just smiled at him sadly, actually patting his shoulder as she walked steadily out of the hall. Hux couldn’t help but feel like she’d somehow spoken in riddles-the kind that made his head hurt. He sighed, rubbing his forehead for a moment. He almost wished he’d never come here, never met Ren or Maz and instead just finished the Academy in peace. Unwilling to watch the love filled faces of his friends any longer, Hux stood to return to his cabin for the final time.

But as he rose from his chair, a rectangle of moonlight broke through into the hall, as someone entered the room. Hux kept on walking, caring very little about whoever had decided to return to the dance. As he approached the door Hux glanced up to acknowledge the newcomer, stopping dead when he realised it was Ren. It took every ounce of self control to simply stay where he was, instead of running over to embrace him, like some stupid movie.

Several couples turned their heads as Ren walked towards Hux, too slow and yet too fast all at once. Ren stopped about a foot in front of him, a distance between them now. “Hux...” He started, before trailing off, obviously aware of Hux’s moderate irritation at this point. Whilst Ren worked up the courage to do anything more, Hux had a chance to take in Ren’s appearance. He’d actually managed to shed his ludicrous robe and was wearing a black suit-a little ill-fitting, not that Hux cared- and a fucking _bowtie_. Hux had to blink a few times to check this was real.

“Hux I--”

“Shall we dance, Ren,” Hux interrupted, struggling to keep the annoyance from his voice, despite his relief at Ren’s return. He was unwilling to stand here talking, with too many pairs of eyes observing them.

“I would like that,” Ren said, clearly relieved that Hux was in an apparently forgiving mood. Well, Hux wasn’t going to let him off that easily.

Hux pulled Ren onto the makeshift dance floor, everyone turning away now, a slower song filling the room so they barely had to move. Ren wrapped his arms low around Hux’s waist, pulling him closer, Hux clinging to Ren’s neck, more desperate than he liked.

Despite their closeness, Hux glared at Ren, his fury at being left here filling his eyes. He thought he saw Ren flinch.

“I presumed you wouldn’t be back,” Hux said, his face inches from Ren.

“So did I,” Ren replied, causing Hux to look away in irritation, before Ren brought a hand to his face, guiding their eyes back together, “Hux, because I didn’t want to say goodbye to you.”

“So you thought running off was the answer,” Hux said, Ren’s sincerity not quite breaking his steely resolve.

“It was stupid, I’m sorry.”

Hux shook his head, still a little dazed by the turn of events. Here he was, suddenly dancing with the guy he’d settled on never seeing again a few moments before. “Besides,” Hux asked, “how did you get a craft to just turn around and bring you back? I presume you were on a craft, although I didn’t see one.” Hux thought of that morning, his ears straining for the sound of a departing ship, being met with silence.

“I walked through the forest, at first light so the craft wouldn’t wake you, before calling my home planet for an unmanned craft,” he seemed to pull Hux closer now, their bodies aligned, “I travelled no more than two parsecs before turning back. I thought I could do it--I was weak.” Ren looked down, ashamed. 

Maz’s comments echoed in Hux’s mind- too much heart. “Ren, look at me.” He looked, “I’m _glad_ you’ve come back. I’m glad. My only regret is that you ever left at all.” With that he reached up and kissed him, watching Ren’s eyes fall closed, before closing his own. The music seemed to swell around them as the kiss deepened, both of them clinging to the one thing they knew they had to give up.

_I think I could love you_

Hux broke away from Ren, their noses brushing. “Could?” Hux whispered.

“We’re leaving tomorrow. It would break me if I did.”

“I think I could love you too,” Hux muttered, the truth of the words making his chest ache.

They remained like that for a few moments more, noses brushing, their faces reflecting the other’s thoughts. “Come back to my cabin,” Ren breathed, “please.”

Hux nodded silently, allowing Ren to lead him through the crowd and into the crisp summer air, all the way to his bed. That night Hux drunk in Ren’s kisses like a man dying of thirst, knowing this truly was the final goodbye.

The next morning, when Hux once again awoke to an empty bed, he felt a sense of calm, a clearer certainty compared to the panic of the other night. He rose from the bed, pulling back the curtain to watch a small craft take off into the morning light.

_Goodbye, Hux._

The message was final, it’s intent clear. “Goodbye, Ren.” Hux muttered into the silent air.

At breakfast, Phasma and Mitaka seemed to know not to ask, having probably seen the craft leave themselves. They both joked about how everyone looked a little tired, with most couples not ending up in their own cabins last night. Hux just looked at his food, unable to eat. He couldn’t quite believe it was over. He’d go back to the Academy, finish top of his class, and become a great general. This would all soon be a memory. He told himself this was a good thing.

The group craft arrived just after breakfast, motivating everyone to finish packing and store their possessions on board. Hux’s private craft was soon to follow, the onboard droid that came to greet him encouraging him to make haste.

He watched Phasma hug Netal goodbye, both of them smiling. Phasma informed him that Netal was being taken by separate craft to some exclusive training school.

“Will you miss her?” Hux asked as Netal walked away.

“I don’t think so,” Phasma said, smiling wistfully, “it was more of a casual thing, you know.”

He didn’t, but nodded anyway. Mitaka smiled sadly at him, looking like he understood as he glanced across the field at Aayla, who seemed a lot happier than he did.

“Well, I’m off then,” he said, gesturing to his craft. He scooped Millicent off the ground, the cat purring contently into his neck, which helpfully allowed him to avoid goodbye hugs.

“I doubt this is the last I’ll see of you,” Phasma said with a grin, her and Mitaka waving as he climbed aboard the craft. He supposed it wasn’t, seeing as they attended similar academies, driving them towards the same goals. He didn’t wave back.

As the doors closed behind him, Hux sighed, still holding onto Millicent. “How was your trip Mr. Hux?” The droid asked.

“Adequate,” he responded as he took his seat, Millicent settling comfortably on his lap. He closed his eyes, feeling the ground and the camp fall away, as he attempted to ignore his aching heart.

*

_15 years later_

General Hux walked smartly onto the bridge of the Finalizer, several ensigns scurrying behind him, handing him documents to sign before dashing off.

The General adjusted his stiff cap, biting back a smile as he stopped to admire the view from the bridge-thousands of galaxies, just waiting to be conquered. He’d finally made it.

“Good to see you sir,” Lieutenant Mitaka nodded, as he made his way to his station. He nodded in response.

“General.” Hux turned to face the female voice of the armour-clad captain making her way towards him.

“Phasma,” he responded. He was really quite glad to see her here, as well as Mitaka, having crossed paths with the both of them throughout his climb through the First Order’s ranks-not that he’d ever admit it.

She stood beside him, as he clasped his hands behind his back. She seemed to share his ambitious sentimentalities over the view. After a few moments, the silence was somehow torn by the sound of something made of metal being destroyed. The General turned to Phasma, a raised eyebrow asking why it sounded as if the impeccable flagship was being ripped apart from within.

“That must be Kylo Ren,” she said with what appeared to be a shrug beneath her armour, “the Supreme Leader’s attack dog has quite the temper.”

 _Kylo Ren_. The name echoed in his mind, a shadow crawling its way back from some buried part of his past. How did he know that name? Then it hit him, memories flooding back in waves: a forest clearing, summer camp, learning to dance. He tried to keep his expression neutral. Did Phasma know? Likely not-Ren was so insistent that everyone knew him as Solo. This couldn’t be happening.

“Excuse me Phasma. I’d like to locate my quarters.” With that he turned on his heels, hoping no one detected the traces of panic in his features, and kept on walking until he had his bedroom door shut firmly between him and the outside world.

He leant heavily against the closed door, pulling his cap off to run his fingers through his hair before replacing it neatly. He began to detect something long unfelt swirling in his stomach with the panic now as it slowly dawned on him that this couldn’t possibly end well. But regardless of Kylo Ren, he had a ship to run. He took a deep breath, straightening his uniform, before heading back out towards the bridge.

This was going to be _interesting_.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading everyone!  
> Feel free to find me on [tumblr](http://luthienthetolkienite.tumblr.com/)

**Author's Note:**

> Feel free to find me on [tumblr](http://luthienthetolkienite.tumblr.com/)  
> (yes I took the fic name from a U2 song I have no defense)


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